Emotion |
What's the signal / message |
Solution / Action |
Uncomfortable |
Change your state |
1. Change your state; 2. clarify what you want,
and 3. take action into that direction |
Fear
(concern, worry, anxiety) |
You need to prepare |
Be prepared to deal with negative consequences,
be confident about possibilities. |
Hurt |
An expectation is not met and you have a sense
of loss |
Change your perception or your procedure.
Is this expectation justified or how you interact |
Anger
(irritation, enraged) |
You have a standard (value) and it is not met
(by another or not by yourself) |
Change your perception or procedure. The way
you look at this or how you communicate or how you behave / interact.
Communicate your standards. |
Frustration |
You keep doing the same thing without wanted
result |
You need to change your approach to achieve
your goal. |
Disappointment |
You need to realize an expectation you had or
an outcome you wanted is probably not going to happen. |
Change your expectation to a more appropriate
outcome for the situation at hand. Example: period is too short. |
Guilt / Regret |
You violated one of your own standards. |
You need to do something about it immediately
to insure you won't violate it again in the future. Don't deny the guilt,
it's coming back. Make things right when you screw up. This emotion keeps
you on track and makes you a better person. |
Inadequacy (unworthy) |
You need to do something to get better in this
category. |
Practice. Q: Is this emotion appropriate? Maybe
you have to change your perception or procedures. Maybe your rules are too
harsh. |
Overloaded
(overwhelmed, hopeless, depressed) |
Change your state |
1. Change your state. You need to reevaluate
what is most important to you in this situation. What is an absolute necessity
to you versus a desire. 2. Write down all the things that are most
important for you to accomplish. 3. Put them in order of priority. 4. Take
the first thing on the list en do something about it. When you do
something about it you are in control. |
Lonely |
You need a connection with people. |
1. Identify what kind of connection you want.
(friendship, intimate, someone to listen or talk to, someone to laugh
with) 2. In what way do you want this to be? 3. Take action into that
direction. |